Finding Freedom: Helping Entrepreneurs Shine, with Gino Wickman

[00:00:00] The journey of the entrepreneur, I like to describe it as climbing the mountain.

[00:00:04] And it is the process that every entrepreneur goes through as they're climbing the mountain

[00:00:09] in their outer world by every imaginable outer world metric. They have the money,

[00:00:15] the people, the stuff, the business, the accolades. However, their inner world was

[00:00:21] not so strong. In terms of they mastered the outer world and what would happen is they get to

[00:00:25] the top of the mountain, they ring the bell, they achieve what they thought was going to be

[00:00:29] success only to discover that they feel empty, unfulfilled, something's still lacking on the inside.

[00:00:36] Welcome to Powered by Instinct, a podcast for professionals who think about how your

[00:00:40] fundamental nature drives performance. If you're interested in getting more done

[00:00:44] more naturally, then let's jump in. Welcome to Powered by Instinct. I'm Amy Bruski.

[00:00:51] I'm the president and integrator at Kolbe Corp. I'm so excited about today's guest

[00:00:56] and topic. We are going to be talking about how looking inward is a key to finding freedom

[00:01:03] and what that means for driven people, especially those of you that are entrepreneurs.

[00:01:06] But this really is for anyone that is driven and supposedly you can be driven and find peace.

[00:01:13] We will see. Our guest is going to help us with that today. And we're going to get down

[00:01:17] to some personal stuff on the podcast today. So get ready for that everybody. Today's guest

[00:01:23] is the one and only Gino Wickman. Many of you know him from his bestselling book Traction

[00:01:28] and all of the work that he did to build EOS, which is the entrepreneurial operating system

[00:01:34] and the organization EOS Worldwide that ran that. A note about EOS for us at Kolbe Corp,

[00:01:40] we run on EOS. It was a game changer for us and really made such a significant difference

[00:01:45] as far as applying a system to our business as we were growing rapidly. So that's a

[00:01:50] foundation. But beyond that, Gino has done so many other things. He's kind of a serial

[00:01:55] entrepreneur. He has built these other businesses and created content that goes neatly into these

[00:02:02] five pieces of content. There are so many different companies and tools that we can't

[00:02:06] talk about them all today, but I definitely want to share information with you about his

[00:02:13] latest endeavor, which is his book Shine. I think Gino and I really share this love

[00:02:18] for developing the next generation of entrepreneurs too. So if we can, by the end of the podcast,

[00:02:24] we might talk a little bit about how this content affects maybe you as a parent or

[00:02:28] the young people in your life, those kinds of things too. So Gino Wickman, welcome to Powered

[00:02:34] by Instinct. Well, thank you, Amy. What an introduction. I hope I could live up to it.

[00:02:40] And I am so thrilled to be with you today. I'm looking forward to this conversation.

[00:02:45] For reference, everybody, my Colby MO is 3583. Gino's is 4683. We are very similar in that,

[00:02:53] kind of the similar pattern. I am so glad that you wrote this book Shine. I absolutely loved it.

[00:03:00] It spoke to me so much just based on my own personal experiences and some things that I have

[00:03:05] gone through in my own life. But it also is closely aligned to some of Kathy Colby's

[00:03:11] principles. And I have to say that Kathy changed my life by saying to me at a pretty young age,

[00:03:17] when I was in a totally different career, not working with Colby, she said success is the

[00:03:22] freedom to be myself. That's how she defined success. And so today I really want to make

[00:03:27] sure that we focus on something that you call your true self. And I do think there's some

[00:03:33] similarities there. So we're going to get started talking a little bit about your strengths

[00:03:37] and we'll jump right into Shine and the 10 disciplines too. So our audience loves to

[00:03:43] hear about how instinctive strengths has affected your work, your career decisions.

[00:03:48] Do you remember when you first got your Colby A result?

[00:03:52] I do. You know, the first thing that comes to mind is how I am a Colby fanatic.

[00:04:00] So I remember it well because I was in strategic coach. I think it was year one.

[00:04:05] I've been in strategic coach for 26 years now, maybe 27. So it goes back to my late 20s when

[00:04:13] I took it and I just fell in love with it because it defined me better than anything

[00:04:19] I'd found that defined me. I mean, it was just so powerful and so free.

[00:04:26] That is fabulous. And how do you think those strengths have played out? Because I just want

[00:04:31] to give you a little bit of observation. You are someone that pushes innovation, drives change,

[00:04:36] has a lot of great ideas. And it's an interesting combination where you're that

[00:04:41] eight and quick start, but you're also a six and follow through where you'll take your ideas

[00:04:45] and thoughts and you'll put it into some kind of a system or a process.

[00:04:49] And that's certainly what you've done with EOS is you created a system that's revolutionary

[00:04:56] entrepreneurs. And with your four and fact finder, you've done it in a way where it's really

[00:05:01] simplified. So just curious on how that's played out for you along the way.

[00:05:06] Yeah. And I can't describe it in perfect Colby terms, but you know, what I've learned is,

[00:05:11] you know, my eight quick start and my six follow through is weird and unusual when it

[00:05:16] comes to visionaries because typically the follow through is lower. And 95% of the driven

[00:05:22] entrepreneurs I work with, they are those visionaries with that eight, nine, 10, quick start,

[00:05:27] you know, one, two, three follow through. So I'm just able to follow through more than most,

[00:05:32] but I'm reminded of, you know, back when you guys would send a cassette tape that would describe

[00:05:38] your Colby result, listening to Kathy describe my Colby, it was amazing because she said

[00:05:45] something that has stuck with me forever. And I realized it's how and why I've created all

[00:05:49] the content that I've created. And she says that I have the ability to see patterns and trends.

[00:05:54] And so as I look back on my life, that's all that has happened. I get so entrenched in the

[00:05:59] work that I'm doing that I can see all the patterns and trends. And out of that bubbled

[00:06:04] all of the tools in EOS. And I just looked at what was working out of the hundreds of

[00:06:09] things I tried and tested and created. You know, there were 20 that worked the best. And so,

[00:06:14] and seeing those pattern and trends leading all the way up to what the content is in shine

[00:06:19] that we're going to talk about today. I just simply saw patterns and trends and working with

[00:06:24] thousands of entrepreneurs. So I believe that's the combination of the high quick start and kind

[00:06:29] of the mid level follow through. And obviously you and I are Colby twins, so you get it

[00:06:34] all too well, but you know, that's how it's shown up for me is it just comes to me. It

[00:06:39] just all clicks after seeing so much data and redundancy over and over. It's just boom,

[00:06:47] all of a sudden it becomes a tool, a process, a system or whatever.

[00:06:50] It is so great to see how you found that freedom to use your strengths and your instincts.

[00:06:55] And that's where all of your successful amazing production has certainly come from.

[00:07:00] So that clarity is super helpful. Can you think of a time when you had to completely

[00:07:05] work against your grain either early in your career or, you know, before EOS where it didn't

[00:07:11] work? Or what do you know what that cognitive stress feels like when you can't use your

[00:07:15] strengths? Yeah, it's definitely the biggest one for me is well now I'm thinking of two.

[00:07:20] One is the fact finder. It's so freeing. It was freeing for me to realize I'm a

[00:07:24] for fact finder because I do not enjoy fact finding. I do not enjoy doing research in terms

[00:07:29] of digging into facts and data. Again, I'm just watching those patterns and trends.

[00:07:35] So whenever I had to, you know, whether that was studying in school, which, you know,

[00:07:41] I barely graduated high school with a solid 2.3 GPA, even in business, you know, reading

[00:07:48] a legal contract, I'd rather stick a fork in my eye. I just have no desire for the facts.

[00:07:55] So whenever I had to do that, it was excruciating. But fortunately, I learned very early on in my

[00:08:01] work life how to delegate. I was taught that at a young age. So I was able to delegate those

[00:08:07] things off very quickly. The other thing is my low implementer. So I am surrounded by high

[00:08:13] implementers and my wife grew up with high implementers and here she marries a low implementer.

[00:08:19] And the last thing I'm ever going to do is cut a lawn, change a light bulb,

[00:08:23] fix a light socket or a, you know, light switch. So I'm just not a handy guy nor do I desire to do

[00:08:29] anything that's hands on. And so I hire it all out and I learned that at a young age as well.

[00:08:34] But what I realized is anytime I had to do those things, it just drained and zapped my

[00:08:38] energy. Then it actually took my wife and I few years to get comfortable with the fact that,

[00:08:43] you know, I'm just not her dad. That guy was like a 10 implementer and he could fix

[00:08:48] anything and always so hands on. I was just the complete polar opposite. And so now it's just so

[00:08:54] freeing. I have a phone number for everything. Oh my gosh. Staying so freeing I think is key

[00:09:00] because you touched on something that I find a lot and that I think in our society, we have

[00:09:05] these stereotypes where the men in a relationship should be fixing things and the woman in a

[00:09:11] relationship should be doing the follow through keeping track of the schedules and planning

[00:09:16] things. And what I find is there's a lot of pain points around that where I'll have men say,

[00:09:21] oh my gosh, thank goodness you tell me I'm a two and implementer. I'm not going to feel guilty

[00:09:25] anymore about not doing these things. And so the sooner people can let go of that and be

[00:09:32] okay with it, the better. Yeah, please everyone in your relationships, find the freedom to be

[00:09:39] yourself too. Okay. So let's get right to shine. Let's talk about why this book.

[00:09:44] Well, I always like to create a little context that leads up to the book and it kind of paints

[00:09:49] a vivid picture of what's going on here because as you mentioned in the introduction,

[00:09:53] I've created five pieces of content in the world and very quickly they are number one

[00:09:58] entrepreneurial lead and that's to help entrepreneurs in the making anybody that

[00:10:02] thinks they're an entrepreneur determine if they are and shows them how to start a better

[00:10:05] startup. Second piece of content is rocket fuel and that's that visionary integrator concept

[00:10:11] for when that entrepreneur needs to go find their integrator and take the company to the

[00:10:14] next level. Third piece of content is EOS for when that entrepreneur and their leadership

[00:10:18] team want to run that business like a Swiss watch. Fourth piece of content is the EOS life

[00:10:22] for when that entrepreneur, those leaders and hopefully everybody in the company want to live

[00:10:26] their ideal life. And then the fifth piece of content is 10 disciplines what we're about to

[00:10:31] talk about. Well, if you visually see those five pieces of content, what you see is you

[00:10:36] actually see the journey of the entrepreneur. I like to describe it as climbing the mountain

[00:10:42] and it is the process that every entrepreneur goes through as they're climbing the mountain.

[00:10:47] Well, after now 25 years of obsessing and working with entrepreneurs which is my passion

[00:10:53] and my gift, what I had observed and realized that I had done with these five pieces of

[00:10:57] content is I helped these entrepreneurs succeed in their outer world by every imaginable

[00:11:05] outer world metric. They have the money, the people, the stuff, the business, the accolades.

[00:11:10] However, their inner world was not so strong. In terms of they mastered the outer world,

[00:11:16] they never really mastered the inner world and what would happen is they get to the top

[00:11:19] of the mountain, they ring the bell, they achieve what they thought was going to be

[00:11:23] success only to discover that they feel empty, unfulfilled, something still lacking on the

[00:11:28] inside. And so with this book Shine and with this 10 discipline content, it's all about now

[00:11:35] going inside and really maximizing your energy, your impact and your inner peace.

[00:11:42] And so I was just kind of called to go inside four years ago. This I'm speaking from experience

[00:11:48] because every piece of content I've created, I've lived firsthand as an entrepreneur

[00:11:52] and I got to the top of the mountain and had that same exact feeling. And so I was just

[00:11:57] drawn to go inside. And again, I realized having seen this happen with thousands of

[00:12:01] entrepreneurs that there's something here and I've got to go here. And so there I went.

[00:12:08] Go a little deeper on the top of the mountain because I heard you speak recently and you

[00:12:12] had mentioned, you know, there really is no mountain. I think you described it as a journey

[00:12:17] and we want to strive and have these goals. So it's not, you're not saying give that up,

[00:12:24] right? How are you talking about that? Yeah. And that's the beauty when you go inside

[00:12:29] and you find that inner peace and just kind of do some excavating and clear out what's in there.

[00:12:35] You realize there is no mountain. It's all just a journey. I'd like to describe it as below the

[00:12:40] surface. And I always hold my hands just below my chin. And I talk about the tectonic plates

[00:12:44] are shifting inside of you or your central nervous system is amped up when things are

[00:12:49] just not right below the surface. That's when you feel like there is a mountain decline.

[00:12:55] When you find peace and shed all that stuff, as I like to say, you realize there's just no

[00:13:00] mountain to climb. The whole thing is a journey and that's the aha. That is the culmination of

[00:13:05] this whole conversation we're about to have. And that is it just isn't a mountain to climb.

[00:13:09] And all of a sudden that starts to give you that incredible tremendous sense

[00:13:13] of peace. And like you already let the cat out of the bag, I'm ultimately going to show

[00:13:17] how it is possible to be driven and have peace. I've learned it is possible

[00:13:24] and we'll get there soon as we kind of go down this journey together today.

[00:13:28] Okay, so let's talk about it. There are the three different discoveries that you

[00:13:31] talk about in the book. What are they? Yeah, and so high level with what I realized

[00:13:37] about four years ago, because I kind of describe it as an awakening where I'm sitting at the

[00:13:41] top of the mountain. I'm feeling like I've succeeded by every metric, feeling that emptiness

[00:13:47] on the inside forced me to go inside and over a four year journey, now almost five years,

[00:13:52] I made three discoveries that were really enlightening for me and really helped me

[00:13:57] grasp what was going on. And so high level discovery number one is that I am driven.

[00:14:03] Discovery number two is that all decisions are made out of love or fear. And discovery number

[00:14:10] three again is that moment we've been talking about. And that is the discovery that

[00:14:14] you can be driven and have peace. And so if you'd like, we can certainly take those one at a time.

[00:14:21] Absolutely. I mean, let's start with I am driven because I am drawn to the fact that

[00:14:26] you start talking about how that can be a blessing and a curse at the same time.

[00:14:30] Yes, absolutely. So I am driven. Again, I call these discoveries. And so what happened for me

[00:14:36] is I just simply understood something finally clicked for me. I understood the dynamic of

[00:14:42] what being a driven person is, both the pros and the cons. And what I hope for your audience out

[00:14:47] there is they have the same revelation, the same aha, is that being driven is a blessing

[00:14:54] and a curse. And it's all about understanding that the blessing is that we have superhuman

[00:14:59] stamina. We're the creators of most things on the planet. We're the superheroes that are

[00:15:03] saving the day all day solving big problems. Well, the curse is that we tend to do a lot

[00:15:09] of damage with our drive and our intensity and our ambition to ourselves mentally, physically,

[00:15:16] emotionally, and to the relationships in our life. We tend to leave a black trail behind us.

[00:15:22] And there's a great book I recommend to everyone called Driven by Dr. Doug Brackman.

[00:15:27] And it really helps you understand the science behind this because what he teaches us is that

[00:15:32] it's in our DNA. It's the D2D4 gene and it has an allele or a flaw in it where we just don't receive

[00:15:40] the same level of reward and satisfaction as most people do. So 10% of the population

[00:15:45] scientifically have this allele and are driven. And to understand what's really going on,

[00:15:51] we start to see that we just need that extra fix. We're looking for that endorphin hit

[00:15:56] more than most. And that tends to get us in a lot of trouble. So Gino, let me ask you

[00:16:01] a question about that book then. Is he saying that we can't teach people to be driven?

[00:16:06] It's either in you or it's not. And is it driven different than motivated?

[00:16:10] Yeah, I love that. So first of all, yes, he's teaching you can't teach drive.

[00:16:16] And I've been teaching you can't teach drive for at least five, if not 10 years. So he and

[00:16:22] I both subscribe to that, that you are born with this. I never knew it was science. There

[00:16:28] was a part of me that wondered, you know, did you somehow develop it at a young age? But I really

[00:16:33] believe that you are absolutely born with this drive. And now after understanding Doug's work

[00:16:38] in that book, I realized that it is truly DNA. And again, his math is it's 10% of the population.

[00:16:45] My math is that 4% of the population are driven entrepreneurs. And his math includes things

[00:16:52] like Navy SEALs, athletes, things like that, because there are lots of other driven people

[00:16:56] in the world up and over just entrepreneurs. Yeah, it's interesting because I always bring

[00:17:02] it back to kids and stuff. I think people talk about, you know, I'd like my kid to be a little

[00:17:07] more motivated and have drive and those kinds of things. And so I think that it's great to

[00:17:12] look at this difference between ultimately truly driven in it's in you driven people versus

[00:17:19] very successful accomplishing a lot motivated people, you know, all of it is important.

[00:17:25] Your work is very focused on these entrepreneurs that I think have accomplished incredible things.

[00:17:31] And then at this top of the mountain, as we're talking about what that level of stress can be

[00:17:36] like. So talk about that as far as you know, decisions being made out of love and fear, why

[00:17:41] does that matter? Or, you know, the third one, which it's possible to be driven and find

[00:17:47] peace because I know a lot of people listening, they are these people, these are the driven

[00:17:51] people that are listening to them. Yes, you know, and to let the cat out of the bag,

[00:17:55] as we're talking about this driven discovery, I really try to take the reader in our clients

[00:18:02] and the student and anybody out there listening to this to that deep dark place because I want

[00:18:07] them to really feel it. And so, you know, I could go for 15 more minutes on this topic

[00:18:11] and we don't have time for that today. But, you know, if it starts to feel a little

[00:18:15] dark, there is a dark side to being driven. The cat out of the bag part is in discovery

[00:18:20] three. We're going to take the sting off, the paint off and show you that it's possible

[00:18:24] to have that incredible drive with peace so you're not leaving the black trail. So

[00:18:29] that's coming. The other thing I'd like to share is this is the thing I love about Colby.

[00:18:33] I mean, I really believe to get really heavy is that, you know, Colby is determining,

[00:18:40] I call it true self in this work, but it's like the soul of the human being. I mean,

[00:18:45] I really believe it goes that deep and it's really showing you, you guys talk about your

[00:18:50] natural instincts where you naturally put your instincts and your energy. This is all about

[00:18:56] energy, true self, the soul, if you will. And so I believe that's what Colby measures. And

[00:19:01] for those of us that are driven, it's real. It's not changing. So now let's go to

[00:19:05] the next discovery. As you said, all decisions are made out of love or fear. Now this is

[00:19:10] almost impossible to do, but I'm going to try and do this in two to three minutes for you

[00:19:15] take you all the way to the root of why all decisions are made out of love or fear. And it

[00:19:20] gets a little heavy and then you can be the gauge of how deep we're going to go from there,

[00:19:25] but at a high level, it's understanding. Once you understand all decisions are made out of

[00:19:29] love or fear and you become aware of that dynamic that exists, decisions then expands

[00:19:34] to emotions, feelings, thoughts, and decisions. So all this stuff going on in you, it's either

[00:19:41] coming from a fear-based place or a love-based place. And fear is the mind and or the ego. And

[00:19:48] so let's just call that ego for this conversation. The love is coming from your heart or your soul

[00:19:54] or your true self, as we'll call it. So we'll call that true self for this conversation.

[00:19:58] Well, all day, every day there's this battle going on between your ego and your true self.

[00:20:04] And most of the time the ego is winning. But when you understand that dynamic,

[00:20:09] the way I like to describe it is if you picture your true self, your soul, your essence, your being,

[00:20:14] it is this bright light that shines incredibly bright, vibrates very high. It is just sadly

[00:20:21] trapped behind your ego. And it just simply means that things happen to you in your life,

[00:20:25] whether it was pain, trauma, conditioning, whatever it was, your ego just started to

[00:20:31] protect you and make up stories and build these layers of protection. And so somewhere

[00:20:36] in your life you put on a suit of armor that just totally trapped your true self inside of there.

[00:20:41] And the beauty of this is once you understand and you can see this visual that I'm trying to

[00:20:47] paint of your beautiful soul or true self trapped behind this cocoon that is your ego,

[00:20:54] you can dissolve the ego and let your true self shine. And so it's about going into that

[00:21:00] and understanding what caused these energetic blocks, what caused these layers,

[00:21:05] what made me put the suit of armor on. Again, it's always just your ego protecting you,

[00:21:10] your ego's intentions are good. Then you can start to go to the root of those

[00:21:15] and shed those things and let that true self shine and let those love based decisions

[00:21:21] start to come to the surface because we human beings, we are pure love. It's undeniable.

[00:21:25] We're pure energy, pure light, pure love. And sadly though, we're not letting that out fully

[00:21:31] because it's protected behind that ego that's running every decision, emotion, thought,

[00:21:36] feeling through this protective layer. That's quite gross when you fully understand it.

[00:21:41] Ultimately what happens is you just develop an amazing relationship with your ego, which is

[00:21:45] just your mind. And then you put your mind in its proper perspective, which is a thinking

[00:21:50] tool, a strategic tool for you as a driven person, not something that runs your life.

[00:21:55] And then all of a sudden you let your true self lead the way, love based decisions.

[00:22:01] And all of a sudden you have this internal fire that's coming more from a calling

[00:22:05] than this outside in drive that's coming from comparison, competition, judgment, things like

[00:22:12] that. So hopefully that makes sense. Okay, so many good things in this. I love this.

[00:22:18] So why is it worth it? So if someone asks you, okay, but why do I need to be operating out of

[00:22:24] love? What kind of the what's in it for me? Because I have heard people say, oh, anger drives

[00:22:29] me. Like I love when I have something to be mad at like that. I really do my best work.

[00:22:35] So what is the reason that it's worth it for someone to understand that?

[00:22:38] That's so great. So I would say this, first of all, I know when I shared this message,

[00:22:45] I've learned that good news is most people get it are ready for and I call it being pinged.

[00:22:50] You know, it pings their soul. It lets a little light in a little light out. But for some,

[00:22:55] it just doesn't. And it feels weird to them. It's not for them. And what I suggest to

[00:23:01] anyone that's in that place, there's nothing wrong with that thinking. Just stay in the

[00:23:05] outer world. Keep maximizing your outer world. Those five pieces of content when I'm working

[00:23:09] with someone anywhere on that journey, and they're in that place that they're not ready

[00:23:14] to go here, amen and hallelujah. Just continue to build an incredible outer world life. And

[00:23:20] I think, I believe, as happened for me at 52 years old, you're going to get pinged

[00:23:26] at some point. But if you never do, you'll build an incredible empire. You'll have a

[00:23:30] ton of money. You'll have all the accolades. And so that won't be such a bad life.

[00:23:35] And I guess for that person, if they do get pinged, I just want them to have a heads up

[00:23:40] and go, oh, here it is. This is what he was talking about. Now to answer your question

[00:23:44] point blank for somebody that's still sitting there skeptical and saying, hmm, okay, I'm open

[00:23:49] to hearing the benefits. I would just simply suggest that if you will become aware and

[00:23:55] just pay attention to your body and is your body feeling amped up, anxious? Are the tectonic

[00:24:02] plates always shifting when you're laying in bed? Does your body just feel relaxed and clean

[00:24:08] and clear and free? And if it's not, it is eating you up inside and it is killing you with all

[00:24:15] due love and respect. And so if nothing else to feel that clean piece, that clear energy,

[00:24:26] that's worth it. But in addition to that, you make better decisions. So yes, those fear-based

[00:24:32] decisions you're currently making that you think are your motivation and the revenge you're

[00:24:37] seeking in the world you think is doing you justice. And it is, it got you here and it ain't

[00:24:42] all bad. You're more productive than most. But what I'm telling you is there is a power

[00:24:47] source inside of you that is 10 times more powerful and you will build 10 times the stuff

[00:24:52] you want to build again by having that inside out force motivation drive or as I like to call

[00:24:59] it true calling. It is so powerful to increase your awareness about anything with yourself.

[00:25:08] It just opens up your view a little bit more of the world. I think you can be,

[00:25:13] you can certainly have more empathy for other people. Your relationships change. I know

[00:25:18] when you talk about love and fear, it's fascinating for me. I've been through plenty

[00:25:21] of therapy over the years and I remember learning all emotion either stems from love or fear.

[00:25:27] That is something that someone said to me once and I thought, well, that doesn't make

[00:25:31] any sense. Where does anger or something else fit in? And then I really did understand how

[00:25:36] fear-based decisions are a big part of what's happening all the time. You just aren't aware

[00:25:41] of it. It's not on the surface. And so just, it opens up this view of the world and what's

[00:25:47] really going on. And I think what you're really getting at is life doesn't have to be that

[00:25:51] hard. It just becomes easier. So when we talk about peace, it's not always that everything

[00:25:57] is, you know, it's all kumbaya. It's just the level of effort that you don't even know

[00:26:02] you're putting in or anxiety is fascinating. I have an aura ring that I've been wearing

[00:26:08] and it's interesting every once in a while when I look back, so anyone who hasn't heard of this,

[00:26:13] it's basically just a ring that has all kinds of biometrics, but I'll have conversations every

[00:26:18] once while I look and go, whoa, my heart rate was really up on that conversation.

[00:26:23] And it's so in my realm or, you know, a part of the kinds of things that I would do

[00:26:28] that I don't think about it, but I look back on it and say, that's a level of stress. That's

[00:26:33] causing me. Why did that happen? That I'm not even aware of.

[00:26:36] Yeah. And that gets me so excited to hear you say that because, and I'm here to tell you,

[00:26:40] you won't need an aura ring someday. In other words, you will know when your heart rate goes

[00:26:45] up instantly and you will say something about this situation is not right. Something is off.

[00:26:52] And that's either I'm feeling fearful or anxious. I'm picking up on their fear or anxiety,

[00:26:57] but there's just something off in this relationship because there's no reason,

[00:27:01] unless we're running on a treadmill for our heart rate to go up in any exchange.

[00:27:05] I guess, unless we're either on a treadmill or having sex, sorry to say that, but I had to

[00:27:08] say that point because it's not always bad or good. But when you're in a situation,

[00:27:13] I'm thinking of a business meeting. Okay. And when you start to become aware of a,

[00:27:18] maybe an intense business meeting, I am here to tell you that when you find that inner piece

[00:27:23] and you shed all that stuff inside of you, you will be calm in the storm. It's incredible.

[00:27:30] You feel this incredible sense of peace and then you're making better decisions. You're seeing,

[00:27:35] you see everything clearly. I hope that makes sense.

[00:27:39] Yeah. I love that. I think there's a real sense of confidence too,

[00:27:43] of being able to handle anything. It's like it just, it'll work out. It'll work out okay

[00:27:48] when you have that level of peace. Yeah. And then I really want to say

[00:27:50] this to that point because, and I kind of started by saying this, but I want to make this clear.

[00:27:53] I am not here to convert anyone. That's not what this is about. And so it's anyone that hears this

[00:28:00] and says, Ooh, I'd like to have more inner peace than you've come to the right place at

[00:28:04] the right time. And this is the right book for you. And if you're saying, I don't want that in

[00:28:08] my anger, my fear, my revenge motivates me. I don't want to change. Don't change.

[00:28:16] Cesar, listen, that's perfectly fine. So I'm not here to change anybody. I'm just telling you what

[00:28:21] worked for me. It little old me with my simple approach to the world. And if it's appealing to

[00:28:27] you then climb on board. I just want to mention what I love about the book is that you put

[00:28:33] quite a few activities to help people through this too. So we're talking right now and

[00:28:38] we're talking in generalities, but I just want to say some of the different exercises that

[00:28:43] you have people do or the questions at the end of each chapter were really helpful. And

[00:28:47] at one point you just described just sitting there and strip away everything in your life

[00:28:51] and how do you feel at the end of that? So there's some really powerful

[00:28:55] processes that you take people through in order to do some of this discovery for yourself.

[00:29:01] Yeah, what I would say to that is, and then I'll bring us into the home stretch on the

[00:29:04] third discovery, but what I would say to that is, you know, one of the greatest compliments

[00:29:08] I get or what people say about me and all of this content that I've created is I have this way of

[00:29:13] taking very complex topics and making them simple. And so what you're going to find in

[00:29:17] this book is it's very simple, very practical, very real world. And so yes, there's tools

[00:29:23] that are going to help you understand this because this topic that we're talking about,

[00:29:27] especially where we are with all decisions come from love or fear, this is a heavy,

[00:29:32] deep topic. This has been written about and studied for at least 10,000 years. I mean,

[00:29:38] this goes way, way, way back. And you know how we human beings haven't figured out because

[00:29:44] it's really simple at the other day, but just somehow we make things complex. You'll find

[00:29:48] that it just takes this very heady thousands of year old topic. It makes it really crazy

[00:29:54] simple. And then ultimately that culminates for us driven people in the discovery that it is

[00:30:00] possible to be driven and have peace. And so I've always thought it was a choice.

[00:30:05] I had this incredible fear that if I ever found peace, it would zap me of my edge,

[00:30:10] my drive. I literally thought that I would just want to sit in a hut and meditate all day.

[00:30:15] I thought I would lose everything. I mean, my ego scared the hell out of me.

[00:30:19] I actually felt an incredible sense of peace, joy and love when my daughter was born,

[00:30:24] lasted an hour and then I stuffed it back down because it scared the shit out of me.

[00:30:29] I don't know if you're allowed to swear on your podcast, you'll bleep it out,

[00:30:32] but it scared me and it felt wimpy. And it went against this tough guy image that my ego and

[00:30:38] I created at age 15 and I just went back to work. And so with that, I always thought it

[00:30:44] was going to zap me. It's just the opposite. When you shed all of these layers, when you

[00:30:48] go to the root of it, shed it, let it go, you will find inner peace. You will have that

[00:30:53] drive and inner peace that greatly increases the drive. It's hard to comprehend, but it is

[00:30:59] possible to be driven and have peace. I'm proving that. And now many of our clients

[00:31:05] are proving that. Many people have proven it over time, but I hope millions will discover

[00:31:10] that in the coming years and decades. I mean, finding joy in what you're doing too.

[00:31:16] I think that's a big part of it. I feel like people, it goes back to what I was

[00:31:20] saying about things need to be hard. It really can be joyful what you're doing and still be driven.

[00:31:27] And I totally agree with you that I think there's some level of fear in that because

[00:31:31] there's been something that has propelled you to get to this point. What are you giving up?

[00:31:36] And what you're really giving up at this level of effort, becoming more of who you are

[00:31:41] is so key to finding joy in what you do. And that's why I love too what we do here at

[00:31:44] Colby because it's kind of the foundation. You have this instinctive need to take action

[00:31:49] in a certain way, shed the expectation. This is how successful people do it.

[00:31:54] This is what's valued. The more that we can do that, the better. But that's just one piece.

[00:32:01] I can't help but do a Colby shout out there. When I think about shedding layers and I talked

[00:32:05] earlier about your true self, Colby is your true self and your true self is Colby.

[00:32:10] When I think about whatever your real Colby is, I have, as I said, I'm a Colby fanatic.

[00:32:15] I made every one of my clients take Colby and it is now one of the 20 tools in the EOS toolbox.

[00:32:21] And so we've now had tens of thousands of people take Colby because of its power. In that,

[00:32:27] I've watched so many clients struggle and resist and almost act defeated because they

[00:32:32] didn't get the score they hoped when the beauty is understand your Colby, live within that

[00:32:38] Colby and shed everything that isn't that Colby. So if you are a low fact finder and

[00:32:44] you grew up with a bunch of fact finders that took great pride in valued fact finding,

[00:32:49] you have a layer to shed there. Man, you have been programmed and your brain is a little effed

[00:32:55] up and it's time to fix that and embrace the fact that I'm a two, I'm a three, I'm a four

[00:33:00] and vice versa. We already talked about the implementer example. If you grew up with a bunch

[00:33:04] of implementers and you're a low implementer, you've got programming that you need to unwind.

[00:33:08] And just as quickly the opposite, if you're the only high implementer in a low implementer

[00:33:12] family, you are an alien. You don't talk the same. You don't act the same. You don't solve

[00:33:17] problems the same. And so you've got stuff to shed because they screwed you up, man. So anyway,

[00:33:23] for what that's worth, I want to do. Yeah, you just described my exact life being a three,

[00:33:27] in fact finder and having to sit at the dinner table and justify all of your decisions and

[00:33:32] quote your sources and debate politics. And yeah, there was a lot of understanding.

[00:33:38] When Kathy Colby said that to me and I got my Colby indexed for the first time,

[00:33:42] it was the first time that anyone had said that was a strength. And so it was easy to just start

[00:33:47] being able to let that go, having to always have all the information. So everyone,

[00:33:51] I challenge you get that freedom to be yourself. It's just the beginning.

[00:33:55] So let's talk about the 10 disciplines because they are so valuable, helpful,

[00:34:00] run through them with us quickly and then we can pick a couple to dissect.

[00:34:04] Absolutely. But again, just a quick contextual point so everybody understands where we're

[00:34:08] going because what we just finished talking about are the three discoveries to free your true self.

[00:34:14] Those are the what? In other words, all we did there was show you what is possible.

[00:34:19] What we're about to go to now are the 10 disciplines to maximize your energy,

[00:34:25] your impact and your inner peace. This is the how the only way to do this work that

[00:34:31] we're talking about is to create a framework, a foundation time and space in your life to do

[00:34:36] this wonderful work. And these 10 disciplines help you do that and they will continue to

[00:34:41] maximize your outer world as well as your inner world. So I always love to start by just giving

[00:34:46] an overview of the 10 disciplines and then you always know your audience better than I do.

[00:34:51] And so I would suggest that then you just pick the one, two or three that really jump

[00:34:54] out for you and we can do a deep dive into those. But at a high level, here are the 10

[00:34:59] disciplines. Number one, 10 year thinking. Number two, take time off. Number three, know thyself.

[00:35:09] Number four, be still. Number five, know your 100%, which is your work capacity.

[00:35:16] Number six, say no dot dot dot often. Number seven, don't do $25 an hour work

[00:35:23] if you want to make six figures. Number eight, prepare every night.

[00:35:28] Number nine, put everything in one place and number 10, be humble.

[00:35:34] Okay. Oh my goodness. We could talk about all of them. Let's just jump a little bit into

[00:35:40] take time off, especially as it relates to energy. And that because we talk a lot about

[00:35:45] mental energy and having available energy. Tell me about take time off and what that means.

[00:35:51] With each discipline, the way we like to teach them is we start with a bold statement. Okay.

[00:35:56] And so each discipline has a bold statement and the idea behind the bold statement

[00:36:00] is this is our way of saying if you would just give us blind faith and do what we tell you,

[00:36:05] just do this thing and you will derive all the benefit of the discipline.

[00:36:10] Now, unfortunately most human beings need to be convinced sold. So we'll get into the convincing

[00:36:15] in just a minute. But if you just did this, you'll get all the benefits of discipline too,

[00:36:18] which is take time off. And that is to take 130 days off per year and don't think about work the

[00:36:27] entire day. So there's the bold statement. Now we can dig a little bit deeper, but the simple

[00:36:33] point here, first of all, 130 days is not a lot of time because if you just take every weekend

[00:36:38] off and holidays, you're already like at 110, 120 days off. So we're talking about those

[00:36:44] things plus three week vacation, you're there. But what I know for me is I am further ahead in

[00:36:50] the last 25 years due to the time I take off, we must recharge our batteries. We must rejuvenate.

[00:36:57] We must stop. We must breathe and create space, sharpen the saw as the old saying goes or

[00:37:04] sharpen the ax. And so for me, I have always taken 150 days off per year. I take the month

[00:37:09] of August off every year. So for 20 years of building EOS worldwide, I took the month of

[00:37:15] August off every year. And I believe I'm further ahead because of it, because I would come back

[00:37:21] rejuvenated, refreshed, more creative. I come back and I see everything so different.

[00:37:26] And so I would turn the world off for a month and I would literally try and forget what I do

[00:37:31] for a living. And I would always say when I come back after the month, I hope I still want

[00:37:34] to do what I'm doing. And fortunately, you know, 25 years running, I still want to do what

[00:37:39] I've been doing, but I know I'm further ahead due to that clarity, creativity and making a much

[00:37:45] bigger impact. Do you have any rules for yourself about like if you're lying on the beach somewhere,

[00:37:50] do you do ideas come to you? Because I find that if I'm not doing any work, all of a sudden

[00:37:55] stuff starts popping into my head that wouldn't have had any space for it. Otherwise, do you

[00:38:00] write things down? Do you just let it go? What? How does that affect? I just, and if I get

[00:38:05] any ideas, I put them in my calendar for the day I return. And there's a whole bunch of stuff,

[00:38:10] you know, on that iPhone, it's just an all-day event, which captures it right there at the

[00:38:14] bottom of your calendar or the top in that case. But when I come back, you know, sometimes

[00:38:18] there's one thing there. Sometimes there's 20 things there, but I immediately grab it there

[00:38:23] and let it go. I don't spend one second brainstorming, thinking about it, writing about

[00:38:28] it. I go back to vacation because that's the other beauty. When you create space, beautiful

[00:38:33] stuff comes up. You just want to be careful not to drown in it and get lost. You want to

[00:38:37] definitely protect your energy by truly taking the time off.

[00:38:40] Yeah. Don't check your email. That's the thing that I think really gets you,

[00:38:45] but ideas might come to you. Okay. What about say no often?

[00:38:49] Yeah. So say no often is discipline number six. And the bold statement here is say no

[00:38:56] to everything that doesn't fit into the first five disciplines. And so what's important here

[00:39:03] is these 10 disciplines have a synergistic effect when they all work together. And this

[00:39:08] is a perfect example of that because when you are shifting your thinking to thinking in

[00:39:13] tenure timeframes, when you are taking time off, as we just talked about, when you know

[00:39:19] thyself, when you are being still, and when you know your 100% your work capacity,

[00:39:26] the first five disciplines, what to say no to becomes abundantly clear, ridiculously clear.

[00:39:33] It's like somebody telling you to eat a worm or asking you to eat a worm. You would instantly

[00:39:37] say no. That's so obvious. Well, every decision becomes that obvious because these are all

[00:39:43] boundaries. You're finally setting boundaries in your life. So you clearly know what to say no

[00:39:48] to. And it is extremely difficult for people to say no. They literally get uneasy and uncomfortable

[00:39:56] at the mere thought of telling somebody no. And so this will help you set the boundaries.

[00:40:00] And then you just build the muscle of saying, no, it will become a true reflex. And then one

[00:40:06] last little thing I like to offer up there is I love saying no for what that's worth in my

[00:40:11] business life. And I'm really good at it. With that said, somebody showed me or taught me or

[00:40:17] helped me understand that whenever I tell somebody no, however, I always offer something up in

[00:40:22] return another resource. So if somebody is asking me to do their podcast and I just, you know,

[00:40:28] can't, I have to say no for whatever reason, I will offer up one, two or three other people

[00:40:32] that might be great on their podcast. So I always offer something up and they always tend

[00:40:36] to go away feeling good about the no that they just heard for what that little trick is worth.

[00:40:42] I have to say that in the book, you give examples of emails back and forth where people have said

[00:40:48] no graciously. I immediately said to my assistant, oh my gosh, copy some of these down. We need to

[00:40:54] we need to create a better kind of a template for saying no, but in a gracious way. And I

[00:40:59] love that you're saying offer something up instead. So it's I'm still trying to help

[00:41:03] this person, but it's no for me. That clarity I think is really important. We say at Colby,

[00:41:08] one of the five rules for trusting your gut is to commit, but to very little and the but to very

[00:41:15] little is really key. We have this mental energy that's finite. Therefore what deserves

[00:41:20] your best efforts is this very small narrow grouping of things. So being able to be clear

[00:41:27] about the what you should be saying no to helps with so many things, including kind of

[00:41:32] decision fatigue, the amount of things that start coming at you, the more and more successful

[00:41:37] you are. You just have more choices. The reality of it is to be successful,

[00:41:42] you have to say no, it's not even an option. In other words, it's hindering your success.

[00:41:47] Warren Buffett has a great quote. He says the difference between successful people and

[00:41:51] really successful people is that really successful people say no to almost everything. So to your

[00:41:57] point, the more successful you become, the more that will come at you. And if you say yes to

[00:42:02] everything, you're going out of business. There's no way you can do all that. You will twist

[00:42:06] yourself in a knot. So you to be successful, you have to say no, it's non-negotiable.

[00:42:12] I use that quote and so my speech is, okay, last one, tell me about be humble

[00:42:17] and why that matters. Yeah, well, let's start with the bold statement first. And

[00:42:20] the bold statement is to view yourself as an equal to every person on the planet. Okay.

[00:42:27] And so what we're talking about here is inner peace. We're talking about managing energy here

[00:42:34] and certainly making a bigger impact. Like attracts like. And so I always like to create

[00:42:39] a spectrum and have you think of this spectrum where on one side of the spectrum, you have

[00:42:44] the word humble. On the other side of the spectrum, you have the word arrogant. And so

[00:42:48] all of us walking the planet were somewhere on that spectrum. And ironically, if you look up

[00:42:52] the definition of those two words, they're almost identical because it's about your view

[00:42:57] of yourself in the eyes of others. And arrogant people just seem to think they're better than

[00:43:03] other people and humble people just don't. And so a humble life I've learned, I've seen,

[00:43:08] it's just a better life and you tend to attract more humble people. And so you're surrounded by

[00:43:14] people with humility as opposed to surrounding yourself with a bunch of arrogant people.

[00:43:19] And then I always like to say it's utterly impossible to not practice gratitude

[00:43:26] and be arrogant. And so there's a discipline in this that just simply says, just practice

[00:43:31] gratitude every day. So every night when my head hits the pillow, I just express my gratitude,

[00:43:36] say thank you to whatever powers are at be. And it just simply just kind of like brings

[00:43:42] you down to the ground. It humbles you. And so just practice gratitude.

[00:43:46] And then there's a great C.S. Lewitt quote that says, you know, being humble is not

[00:43:51] thinking less of yourself. It's thinking of yourself less. So it's just simply about

[00:43:56] where is your focus. And if your focus is all on you, it's burning energy. It's creating

[00:44:03] inner turmoil. And when you shift that focus away from you, it's very, very powerful.

[00:44:09] Yeah. Thank you for that. Okay. Well, are you ready for a few random questions now?

[00:44:14] Have at it. What changes do you see most often in people's lives as a result of really

[00:44:19] applying some of the concepts in the book? Well, it's really interesting because there are

[00:44:25] more words than they are tangible things, you know, because this is where it gets tricky.

[00:44:31] You can't entirely measure this, you know, but what they describe is just feeling more calm,

[00:44:39] feeling more love. In other words, they can literally start to feel love. That was one

[00:44:43] of my big issues four years ago. I realized how I really couldn't feel the people's love in

[00:44:48] my life. I mean, this is my daughter, my son, my wife. This is crazy stuff. How can I not

[00:44:52] feel their love? A lot of people experience this. Well, all of a sudden I feel that love now.

[00:44:57] Again, like I said, that calm, that calm shows up everywhere in a situation that typically creates

[00:45:03] anxiety. You're just feeling this incredible calm. And so things like thinking better,

[00:45:09] feeling clearer, health improves because when you have these protective layers and you're

[00:45:15] coming from a fear-based place, it's eating at your organs. So those are some of the words

[00:45:20] that come to mind and that we hear. Well, yeah, that is not nothing. But on that point when

[00:45:24] somebody says, you know, I want to grow my company to a hundred million, and then you say

[00:45:29] those things to them, they're saying, wait a minute, how does it help me get to a hundred

[00:45:31] million? They can't tangibly do that math. So let's back to that earlier point. If those words

[00:45:37] appeal to you, then you're in the right place at the right time. If not, keep focusing

[00:45:41] on your outer world. It's okay. All right. Let me see how to ask this question. I hear

[00:45:44] this a lot from parents because I think there's a tie to some of what you're talking about

[00:45:49] in resilience. So sometimes going through painful, hard stuff in our lives leads to this

[00:45:55] incredibly resilient person, someone who is certainly confident in making choices and

[00:46:00] getting through things. How do we help raise resilient generations of people

[00:46:07] if there's not some of that struggle? And I think it goes back to a little bit of

[00:46:11] the value. And if you're someone who's driven, there's some positives in that too, but

[00:46:16] I'm kind of trying to isolate a little bit more about going through some stuff, having

[00:46:21] some adversity, how that's actually helpful. And what do we do with our kit?

[00:46:25] It's a scary time right now. This is just my opinion and anybody out there can get mad at me

[00:46:31] if you want, but you know, I believe our children are less resilient and they're way too

[00:46:36] coddled and protected. And so now let's go back to that spectrum. Okay. Let's go to a

[00:46:42] world of children that are overly protected and children that are under protected. Okay.

[00:46:48] Those create two different things and the under protected world, let's just go back, you know,

[00:46:54] 50 years, we could say 75 years, you know, it was the wild wild west literally, but everyone

[00:47:01] fended for themselves more or less. And there was a tremendous amount of trauma and all that

[00:47:06] trauma was stuffed down, but people were pretty damn resilient, you know? So now let's

[00:47:11] go to the other side of the spectrum where these kids are protected and coddled and there's no

[00:47:16] resiliency. I mean, they have no idea how to deal with stress and a problem in their life

[00:47:22] because all their problems are being solved for them. That creates something. So for me,

[00:47:28] you know, I don't know what the answer is, you know, hopefully there's something in the

[00:47:32] middle. The first scenario I described creates more resilience, but I would say this, and this

[00:47:38] is the theoretical point. And I hope that this work leads to some answers because I'm not an

[00:47:45] expert, but here's the thing. We are all going to struggle in life. If you have not struggled,

[00:47:51] you've not lived a life. And if somebody keeps stepping in every time you struggle,

[00:47:56] you are not learning the lesson you're here to learn. And my struggles, I've had some tough

[00:48:02] ones at age six and age seven and certainly other ages, but my God, if somebody would have

[00:48:07] stepped in and coddled me from that struggle, there'd be no resilience. And so we human beings,

[00:48:15] I think part of being here is to struggle. And what I've learned is we have to see the dark

[00:48:21] to see the light. And so to understand that we're all going to struggle, we have to go

[00:48:26] through these struggles because there's something to learn on the other side of the struggle

[00:48:30] and then understand everything we've talked about here, which is you actually can go through

[00:48:36] and have peace. It is possible to do that. Let's let people struggle. And listen, I have kids.

[00:48:42] It is so hard to watch them struggle, but I know the damage it will do if I step in

[00:48:48] and solve all of their problems. It's so, so dangerous. So our intentions are good with

[00:48:53] our kids, but we're doing more damage than good. And we need resilient people

[00:48:59] to take care of this planet 50 years from now. And it ain't going so well. Right now,

[00:49:04] it's not looking real good. Yeah, absolutely. My gosh, that's a, that's a good place to kind

[00:49:09] of close this up. Let's talk about our, our future generations. And we always say,

[00:49:14] you know, Colby, we want to hire good problem solvers. If nothing else, we just need people

[00:49:19] who are capable on their own. It's not just the resilience, but about solving some problems

[00:49:24] and being able to do the hard things. Is there anything else that we haven't talked about that

[00:49:30] want to throw in there and certainly tell us what's next for you too.

[00:49:35] Yeah. Well, the thing that comes to mind I always like to share is, you know, so hopefully your

[00:49:39] audience will read the book. They can get the first 27 pages of the book for free from

[00:49:44] our website, which is thetendisciplines.com. There's also an assessment there. It's free.

[00:49:50] You're going to answer 20 questions about yourself. And what it's going to do is it's

[00:49:53] going to tell you how free your true self is. So you're going to get a score.

[00:49:58] In addition to that, once you get your results, you can opt in for a coaching call around that,

[00:50:02] just so you understand your results. And with that we offer group coaching, a self-study.

[00:50:07] We're just here to help people embed these 10 disciplines in their life so they can free

[00:50:12] their true selves. So that's what I would, would offer up. But there's also a wealth of

[00:50:17] other tools at the website, but please take advantage of the tools. Oh, good. Okay. Can

[00:50:21] you give us the website again really quickly? Yes. It's thetendisciplines.com and you can

[00:50:26] either, you know, one zero 10 or type the word 10 T E N whatever works for you.

[00:50:31] Okay. Fabulous. Oh, thank you so much. Thank you again, Gina Wickman for being our guest. What

[00:50:36] an insightful conversation. We love to have. And as always to our audience, best place to

[00:50:41] start if you haven't already discovered your own strengths is to go to colby.com and take

[00:50:47] your Colby index. So I am Amy Bruce ski. See you next time. Thanks for checking out this

[00:50:54] episode of powered by instinct. If you enjoyed this episode, then follow powered by instinct,

[00:50:59] wherever you get your favorite podcasts or join us online at Colby.com slash podcast for all the

[00:51:04] latest episodes.